01/31/05:  I was too busy to write in this thing again before Christmas break ended. I have been back here at ISU for a little over two weeks and am taking new classes. My schedule is really full and I’m taking 17 hours, which is more than I’ve ever taken in one semester before. It’s going pretty well though, and I found out that two of my classes only go until halfway through the semester and not the entire thing. That will help out a lot.

Anyway, there is something more important going on right now that I wanted to write about. My cat, Libby, hasn’t been doing too well this past week. Over the weekend, Carson and I went to my parents’ house looking forward to a fun weekend. My sister was coming home from Chicago, we were going to go shopping, and I would get to spend time with the animals she was bringing over. Then my mom told me about Libby’s condition, something I was not prepared to deal with. Apparently, Libby has stopped eating and drinking regularly, has lost a lot of weight, and is so weak she can barely get up to use the bathroom. The whole thing has really taken me by surprise because I came back from college last weekend and Libby was doing just fine then. I had also just spent a month at home because of winter break and she was doing fine then, too. So this really came out of nowhere, and the entire weekend I ended up crying and being upset. It has even carried on into this week. My mom said that Libby is a lot worse today than she was yesterday, so we don’t think she will make it much longer.

My sister left to go back to Chicago on Sunday afternoon because she had to work on Monday, but then this morning, she decided she hadn’t spent as much time with Libby as she wanted to, so she drove back. She was sick the whole weekend, so a lot of the “fun” plans we had got canceled. The whole weekend was just awful. Then this morning I started my period, and the whole night last night I was in a lot pain from the cramps. When I woke up this morning, I was extremely tired, not feeling well, and was sad about Libby, so I didn’t go to class. That’s the first time I’ve ever done that.

Tonight my mom brought up the idea of putting Libby to sleep, but there are many reasons why I don’t want to do that. First of all, I don’t like our vet. He’s really rough with the animals, plus I don’t want Libby to spend the last few moments of her life in a place that she has always hated going to. We have agreed as a family that she is in pain but not excruciating pain, and it really seems like she is hanging on because she doesn’t want to leave us just yet. Every day she gets worse, so I would just like her to have a natural death in her home. I think she would be more comfortable with that idea.

I would explain more about how I feel, but lately I’ve been talking to Carson, my mom, and my sister about all this, and we’ve decided to wait one or two more days and see what happens. Hopefully she will pass away when she is sleeping and then we won’t have to worry about making the decision of having her put to sleep. She is 17 years old, which is pretty old for a cat, and her body is just starting to give out. It’s very hard to watch your pet suffer and get to the point where she can’t even bathe herself anymore, let alone purr. She can’t even jump up on anyone for attention. Last week and even months before this weekend, she has been craving attention and wanting everyone to hold her all the time, but now she can’t even get up to walk. It’s weird…maybe she somehow knew all this was going to happen and that’s why she wanted so much attention – because she knew it would be the last time…

Commentary: Well that was kind of a dramatic ending, but yes, it’s horrible to have to make the decision to put your pet to sleep. It was especially hard with Libby because she was our very first family pet and had been around since I was about five years old up until I was in college. You always hope they’ll pass away peacefully in their sleep, but of course that’s not usually what happens. Today’s photo is one of Libby and I after she had gone blind. She lost her eyesight, and apparently I lost my eyebrows. Not sure why the heck I made them so thin, yuck. Anyway, I just wanted to say a quick thank you to those who have purchased my book, “Artifacts of a ’90s Kid.” Your support means the world to me, so THANK YOU! ❤ Go check it out if you haven’t already! 🙂