04/05/03:  Ross officially asked me out, but I’m starting to realize that I only like him as a friend. Last night I went to Stone Country and Chad was there. I haven’t talked to him in a week, but last night I talked to him and he said he lives in Washington now. Then he started talking to someone else, so I went over to talk to Nick. For the longest time I couldn’t find Ross, but finally he came over to where I was sitting. We didn’t dance together at all, though. I danced with other people because I thought maybe that would help Ross get the hint that I wasn’t all that interested in him. I definitely like Chad more than Ross, but I could tell that Chad was really, really drunk or messed up on something. He was more disoriented than usual, so I didn’t hang around him much. Then, as I was walking to the door to leave, I felt someone put their hand on my back and say, “Fine, don’t say bye,” and when I turned around I saw that it was Chad. I told him sarcastically, “Thanks for asking me to dance!” and he said that he doesn’t know what’s going on half the time. Nice. Then he asked how I would get ahold of him since he moved, and I told him to call me and he said okay. Whatever, I know he won’t call. My hand is tired of writing.

Commentary: I honestly feel bad about the whole Ross situation. He asked me out and I said yes, knowing full well that I only liked him as a friend. Then I go around and dance with other guys so that he’ll get the hint? Wow, what a jerk. I don’t know why I couldn’t say no to people or at least be honest with them. I could have avoided many awkward situations and feelings getting hurt had I just been honest from the get-go. Are there any situations you wish you would’ve handled differently back in high school? I’d love to hear from you!