My 20-Year Diary

I will be posting 20 years of my diary entries, ages 8-28, from 1993-2014!

I’m Sitting Under a Tree at Florida Atlantic University — April 26, 2017

I’m Sitting Under a Tree at Florida Atlantic University

04/15/03:  Right now I’m sitting under a tree at Florida Atlantic University. My sister is in class and I just came along with her, but don’t have anything to do. Yesterday was a really fun day. I slept in and then went swimming and got a good tan. Then at night, my sister and I went to the mall again and I bought more clothes. Now I am almost out of money. Oh well! I have today and tomorrow and then I have to get on a plane and leave…how depressing. I really don’t want to go home. I don’t even miss anyone that much. Well, Ross kind of, but not even Jordan or Paul or anyone. This vacation has gone by incredibly fast. Well I’m bored and don’t know what else to say.

04/27/03:  I planned on writing more about my trip to Florida, but that didn’t really happen because I got way too busy. I’ve been back for about two weeks now and it’s not fun here. It rains or is cloudy every day and if the sun ever comes out, it’s on a day when I have to work. Oh well. I decided at the last minute that I’m going to prom. Brandon and I are going just as friends. Ross and I aren’t dating anymore because things are less confusing and there is less pressure when we don’t have a title. Plus, I’m not really a good person to date because I change my mind a lot and never know what I want. Anyway, this Friday night I went to Stone Country with some friends. I actually didn’t have to work, so that was nice. As I was sitting there at Stone, I thought about how I haven’t seen Chad in a long time. Nick was there, but I didn’t see Chad. So I went out and started dancing, and that’s when I saw him. I went up and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and gave me a hug, then picked me up and actually seemed happy to see me. He even said that it was great to see me again. I definitely have stronger feelings for Chad than I do for Ross. Ross can be kind of boring sometimes, but when I’m with Chad I honestly could never be bored. So then I went back over to the friends I came with and when we were getting ready to leave, I saw Chad out on the dance floor trying to learn a line dance. Awww, it was cute. Then he started to walk off the dance floor, so I went up to him and we hugged and started talking. Apparently he broke his ankle playing basketball. He said that he wanted to hang out with me after Stone, then the next day before I went to work, and then at night. He told me his phone number since he just moved, but I forgot it!!! So I ended up not calling, but I had other things to do anyway. Nick ended up giving me Chad’s new number and I called tonight but he wasn’t home. Ugh! I really want to hang out with him. Well I have to go, I’ll write more later!

Commentary: Did I really think I’d remember an entire seven digit phone number? It’s weird to think about how if someone moved, their phone number would change since everyone used house phones back then. 

It’s Amazing Here — April 24, 2017

It’s Amazing Here

04/14/03: Right now it’s spring break and I’m staying with my sister in Boca Raton, Florida. I was scared to fly all by myself, but when I got on the plane, this guy from my school just happened to be on the same flight to Atlanta. I was able to sit with him and wasn’t scared anymore. We hung out for awhile in the airport until he had to get on another flight. I waited for my plane to come in, but it got delayed an hour. Finally, I got on and flew to Ft. Lauderdale where my sister picked me up. That night we just drove around town and looked at some huge mansions. The next morning was Friday and we went to Butterfly World, then to a little party thing in Ft. Lauderdale later that night. The next day we went to some bird place and I got to hold some huge freaky birds and one bit my sister. Ha! I told her it was going to bite, but she didn’t listen. Those birds are mean. Then we drove to Miami and went shopping. We tried to go to the beach, but it was way too busy and we could barely drive because the traffic was so awful. We ended up leaving and came back home to drink wine coolers. We also watched a video of a vacation our family took a long time ago to Colorado. It was when I was only six years old. Today is Sunday and we went to the Boca beach and I got sunburnt. It was fun playing in the ocean because I haven’t seen the ocean in years. The last time I saw the ocean was when I went to Florida with Cara. Then we came back to my sister’s apartment and played with her chameleon and gecko. We also went to the mall and I bought some really cool shirts and sandals. We went out to dinner at Red Lobster which was GREAT, and then I called my mom and dad to tell them about my trip so far. I’ve been talking to people online from back home and it’s cool to tell them what kinds of things I’m doing out here. Oh, we also went to the everglades today. It’s amazing here and I don’t want to leave and have to go back to work! Ugh. Well I’m going to play solitaire, so I’ll write more later.

Commentary: When I mentioned being scared to fly by myself for the first time, I conveniently left out the part about how I was crying hysterically. Apparently that was too embarrassing for even my diary to know about! We were at a very small airport with not much security, so my mom was able to sit at the gate with me. Once I got in line to board the plane and had to say goodbye to my mom, I completely lost it. I was already scared to fly because of a bad flight experience I had back in middle school, so having to fly alone for the first time was terrifying. When looking back, I’m able to see how God has put certain people in my life for specific reasons. I truly believe that my classmate being on the same flight was no coincidence. If he hadn’t been there to comfort me, I’m not sure I would have gotten on the plane. I’ve flown quite a bit since then, and never has there been a time where I’ve known someone on one of my flights. Reading this diary entry makes me realize how much I love Florida! I wish my sister still lived there. One thing I remember about this particular trip was how much I listened to the song, “If You’re Not the One” by Daniel Bedingfield. It was on the radio all the time and I loooved it. There were so many great photo options that I decided to include three that relate to this post. The first one was taken at Butterfly World (was it really necessary to show so much stomach?), the second is of me holding my sister’s gecko, although you can barely see him (what kind of face is that?), and the third is when I got attacked by birds at Butterfly World.

He Was More Disoriented than Usual — April 23, 2017

He Was More Disoriented than Usual

04/05/03:  Ross officially asked me out, but I’m starting to realize that I only like him as a friend. Last night I went to Stone Country and Chad was there. I haven’t talked to him in a week, but last night I talked to him and he said he lives in Washington now. Then he started talking to someone else, so I went over to talk to Nick. For the longest time I couldn’t find Ross, but finally he came over to where I was sitting. We didn’t dance together at all, though. I danced with other people because I thought maybe that would help Ross get the hint that I wasn’t all that interested in him. I definitely like Chad more than Ross, but I could tell that Chad was really, really drunk or messed up on something. He was more disoriented than usual, so I didn’t hang around him much. Then, as I was walking to the door to leave, I felt someone put their hand on my back and say, “Fine, don’t say bye,” and when I turned around I saw that it was Chad. I told him sarcastically, “Thanks for asking me to dance!” and he said that he doesn’t know what’s going on half the time. Nice. Then he asked how I would get ahold of him since he moved, and I told him to call me and he said okay. Whatever, I know he won’t call. My hand is tired of writing.

Commentary: I honestly feel bad about the whole Ross situation. He asked me out and I said yes, knowing full well that I only liked him as a friend. Then I go around and dance with other guys so that he’ll get the hint? Wow, what a jerk. I don’t know why I couldn’t say no to people or at least be honest with them. I could have avoided many awkward situations and feelings getting hurt had I just been honest from the get-go. Are there any situations you wish you would’ve handled differently back in high school? I’d love to hear from you! 

I Started My New Job — April 2, 2017

I Started My New Job

03/24/03:  I went to Stone Country on the 14th, which was the last time I wrote in here. I sat down where Cara and I sit every time and didn’t see Chad when I walked in, so I was wondering if he was really going to come. He told me earlier he had some things to do and probably couldn’t come. But as I was sitting there, I saw him walking around to come find me because he knows where I always sit. So we danced a lot and kissed and Paul ended up being there, so that wasn’t good. Anyway, I don’t think anything else too exciting happened that night, so let’s move on. On the 17th, I started my new job at Schlotzsky’s Deli. The first day was tough because I was so confused and they tell you everything at once and it’s hard to remember it all. This is my second week working now, so I’m getting used to it and things aren’t so bad. On Friday, I worked from 5:00-8:00pm and then went to Stone with Samantha and Cara right after work. Oh yeah, I don’t think I’ve mentioned Ross yet! I call him by his last name because I don’t want him to be confused with my ex-boyfriend who has the same name. My friend Andrew who I go to school with introduced us and we started hanging out. We have been seeing movies/hanging out at each other’s houses and it’s a lot of fun. He is a really nice guy with a good sense of humor, but I’m not sure if I like him enough to date him. He met up with me at Stone Country last Friday and Chad was there, so I ended up dancing with both of them. I still like Chad even though Ross is showing more interest in me now. Chad is actually online right now but has had an away message up ever since I got off of work, so I didn’t get to talk to him yet. I was over at Ross’ house until 11:30 last night. We are getting closer and try to hang out whenever we can. It’s kind of hard because he works all the time, but we’ll see what happens.

Commentary: Thankfully, working at Schlotzsky’s Deli was my only experience in the fast food industry. The thing that sticks out most in my mind was working late and having to close. They had wooden tables and chairs that were very heavy and whoever closed had to move every single table and chair out of the way, sweep the entire floor, then mop it. My little toothpick arms could barely handle it. The best thing was being able to eat their food on my lunch break, I believe at a discounted price. I absolutely loved their soup, pizza, and Turkey Original sandwich. That was back when the food was good. Most of them have now gone out of business, but we do still have one around where I live. I tried to go there recently for the nostalgia, but unfortunately they’ve totally changed the way they make their sandwiches. I’m guessing to cut down on costs they had to have lower quality ingredients. I worked there before Panera was a thing, so once that opened just down the street, it was all over for the Schlotzsky’s I worked at and they ended up closing. 

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