01/29/03:  Today I got home from school and sang and danced around in my room. Then I watched American Idol because that show is such a gag! I love the tryouts when they show the bad singers. Anyway, I had an away message up online and Chad left me a couple messages. He said to leave him one when I got back, but I really HAD to watch American Idol because I missed it last night and it really makes me laugh so hard sometimes. I came back an hour and a half later to talk to Chad, but he said he was going to bed. I totally forgot about his job and how he has to wake up at 4:30 in the morning. Whoops! I felt bad because he said something about how he had been trying to talk to me all night but I kept leaving. He read the email I sent and I thought his response would either be that he only wants to be friends or he would say how he felt about everything in two sentences and say something like, “Oh baby, you know I love you,” blah, blah, blah and wouldn’t really take the time to seriously think about it. He actually surprised me when we talked tonight. I was kind of embarrassed by the email I sent, thinking it was dumb and too mushy, but he said it wasn’t, which was nice of him to say. I asked if he was going to write back since he said he was going to bed. He asked if I wanted him to tell me over IM or in an email and I said it was up to him. He told me he would write me an email because he had lots to tell me. I couldn’t believe that. I really thought he wouldn’t take it seriously at all, so I’m happy he actually cares enough to write me a long email explaining things. I’m still living in suspense though, because I have no clue how he feels or what he will say. When he got offline he said, “Goodnight, and I love you a lot more than you think.” I was in a pretty good mood after that. I don’t know what it is with him! We just have some major chemistry or something. I can’t wait to see what his email will say. The biggest thing I care about is that he’s honest with everything he says, even if it’s not exactly what I want to hear. The truth hurts sometimes, but it’s always better than being lied to or led on. I get so many mixed signals from Chad…I just don’t know what to think sometimes. All of a sudden I’m dead tired, so goodnight! Hopefully the next time I write I’ll have good news for ya!

Commentary: Wow, I had totally forgotten about the phrase “such a gag” when talking about something funny. It’s weird how sayings are so popular at one time and then they completely disappear. Do any of you still say that?