01/11/03: It’s 9:04pm on a Saturday night, and for some reason I didn’t feel like going out. I’m just hanging out in my room listening to some Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. On Monday I start finals…ugh! The pressure is really on because I have to keep my straight A’s going. I talked to Brian a few days ago and apparently he bought me a Christmas present – greaaat. Now it will be even harder to tell him that I just want to be friends. He comes back in four days. I’m going to be taking two finals that day, then my schedule changes and I start all new classes. It will be a pretty busy week and I won’t have much time to see him. Ok, my mom just came up to my room and asked what has been wrong with me lately because I haven’t been getting online much and have been spending all my time in my room. I also haven’t been going out on weekends. I told her I’m fine, but she didn’t believe that. I told her to just forget it, it was no big deal, and I didn’t want to talk about it. She wouldn’t allow that answer, so I told her things I’ve been stressing out about lately because she sounded concerned and caring. Right after I told her she said, “Don’t you think most of this is your fault?” and started arguing with me. I’m so mad. This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell her anything in the first place. Don’t ask me something and then yell at me about the answer. Ugh, I don’t feel good, I have to go.
Commentary: My mom and I get along much better these days, but things were definitely rough between us back then. I didn’t open up to her very often, and when I did, it almost always resulted in an argument. Random fact – I saw Bone Thugs-N-Harmony perform at a local dive bar about two years ago. Still love them!