01/01/03: Last night was New Year’s Eve and I was sick! My temperature was almost 102 degrees, and it really sucked. Jordan came over and spent the night with me. He went home at about 2 in the morning. Anyway, I said I was going to talk about Christmas, but nothing too exciting happened. Just the regular – having my grandma and grandpa Day over, and then going to my dad’s side the next morning. Time to talk about other things! I really don’t know what to do about Chad. I know we are very different and don’t have too much in common, but there is some sort of chemistry between us. When I try to not talk to him and forget things, I end up waiting for him to get online or something. I just can’t forget about him for some reason. Ugh, there are a lot of things I like about him. If I was absolutely sure that what he tells me is the truth, then there would be no problem. The only issue is that I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s telling me the absolute truth. The only way I can get to know him and learn to trust him is if I hang out with him more, but the more we hang out, the more I like him and the more confusing everything gets, so whatever. I’ll just wait it out and see how things go. Paul is officially out of the picture after tonight, that’s for sure! He’s just messed up in the head. One day he’ll make me feel like I’m such a horrible person, and the next day he tells me I’m perfect. Umm ok! I have another dilemma…my friend Brian from the Marines somehow got the idea that I “like” him, and now he calls me every day from California. I don’t know what to do, because in 15 days he comes back home and he’s going to expect me to hang out with him all the time. I’ve been told that I’m his only friend from around here. I mean, I like Brian – he’s really nice and hilarious, but I want to only be friends with him and that’s it. I know I need to talk to him about it, but I feel like he’ll be so mad that he wasted money calling me long distance from California when I’m not really interested. Ugh, how on earth do I get myself into such predicaments? Well, time to get online!
Commentary: Maybe if I didn’t lead people on I wouldn’t have gotten into so many predicaments.