8 Mile

11/21/02:  On Friday night, Chad ended up being busy, so I went to Stone Country with Cara. On Sunday night, Chad and I planned on meeting for the first time at the Willow Knolls theater. Since he had sent me a picture of himself, I kinda knew what he looked like. That night I was so nervous because I really didn’t know what to expect. As I was walking up to the door, I saw this guy sitting on the bench inside and knew it was him! I saw his profile and his nose goes like straight down, I remembered from the pic. So I walked in and went up to him and it was really awkward. I didn’t know what to say. Then he paid for me which pretty much made it a date. We saw the movie 8 Mile with Eminem. A few times during the movie we would look over at each other and smile, but didn’t say much. Then the movie ended and we got up to start walking out. Chad turned the wrong way and his face got so red. I thought that was so cute! He seriously smells really good! That’s one of the first things I noticed. So we walked out to the parking lot when I realized I didn’t know where my keys were. I put them in my coat pocket during the movie, but I searched my pockets and they weren’t in there! So we went all the way back in the theater to search the floor and still couldn’t find them, so I took off my coat, shook it, and heard the keys rattling. Chad took my coat and was able to find my keys, which had somehow fallen all the way up to where the shoulder was in my coat! It was quite strange, and then I felt like a complete idiot. When we started walking out of the theater, Chad turned the wrong way again! So that was funny, and when I went to put my coat back on, he held it open while I put my arms in. I thought that was very nice. He gave me a hug, said goodbye, and the night was over. After that night I really didn’t think he would ever want to hang out with me again because I’m shy and he’s really outgoing, but we talked online and surprisingly he said that he thinks I’m beautiful and definitely wants to hang out again. I thought when we met I would realize we have nothing in common and that would be the end of it, but I actually really like the guy! Every day we keep talking online and I’m getting to know him better. This past Saturday night I went over to his house to hang out with him. His house is really nice! His room is huge and is really cool. He had been telling me he bought a little something for me, and when I walked into his room he told me my present was on the bed, so I looked over and there was a rose! I didn’t even know what to say, but that was sweet of him. I met his dad and then Chad and I watched a movie, but I wasn’t paying much attention. He had his arm around me and we flirted a little and talked. Then I had to leave, so he walked me out to my car and tried to pay me for gas, but I wouldn’t let him. He hugged me goodbye, thanked me for coming out, and then gave me a kiss. That really was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. I just really like his personality, and he’s the sweetest guy ever! Paul knows Chad and doesn’t like him, so now Paul is mad at me for talking to him. A few nights ago on Sunday the 17th, Chad pretty much asked me out. I said yes, even though it seems a little strange and too soon, but I do like him and want to get to know him better. When we talk or hang out I always have fun and am in such a better mood. It used to be that we would just talk online and then see each other on the weekend, but we actually talk on the phone now after we talk online. Last night he said he would call but never did…wonder what happened. Okay, I just went downstairs to check my messages online, and he left me four messages! He said sorry he didn’t call me last night – he fell asleep. He also said that he loves and misses me. Awww, well I’ll finish writing this and then go talk to him online. So anywho, I was so convinced that after everything Jordan and I were completely over, but he found out about Chad and I and now he really wants me back. At least that’s what he’s trying to make me believe. I’m so confused. He called when I got home from school and totally made me start bawling. I promised myself this is what I wasn’t going to let myself do. I love him more than anything even though I shouldn’t, and that’s what makes it so hard. So he has been trying to convince me to break up with Chad. Maybe I should, but not because he told me to. I think I’ll probably hang out with him a few more times and if it seems like he’s the type of person who only wants one thing, then I’ll know to get rid of him. So now Paul hates me, Chad and I are somehow going out, Jordan is mad but wants me back, and just wait – it gets worse. Josh from TN is planning on coming back for Christmas. At first I was excited about it, but now I don’t want him to come back since things are so messed up. I know how Josh feels about me…unfortunately he really likes me. Last time I talked to him, I told him I wasn’t dating anyone and there were no guys that I was after, and that was true at the time. Now all this has happened and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! Ugh, anyway I started my period today and have bad cramps, so I’m gonna go to bed or something even though it’s not even 8:00pm yet.  Hmmm…

Commentary: I have really bad cramps as I’m typing this and am going to lay in bed even though it’s not even 8:00pm yet – weird. There’s no way this blind date happened 14 years ago – I remember it extremely well! Although I didn’t mention this in my diary, I do remember him giving me a glimpse of his ankle bracelet during the movie. What the hell was I thinking?! Apparently the date was so magical that I kept the movie ticket stub and displayed it in my scrapbook.