09/09/02: Last night I waited and waited and just couldn’t stand it anymore. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night unless I found out what was going on. At around 9:15, I went to his house. I saw his car there and was thinking, okay, so why the hell hasn’t he called? So then I walk into his room and he’s just sitting there watching TV. When he saw me come in the door he was like, “What are you doing over here?” sounding mad. He said he had been sitting at home watching football all weekend. I seriously could not help but cry my eyes out at that point. I remembered everything I had gone through and how much I needed him and all the messages I had left…it hurts so bad to know that that whole time he was sitting there watching TV, not caring about how I must be feeling. So anyway, we tried to talk about things and he said that he wants to be with me but he needs time by himself right now. So after putting me through hell this weekend and making me wait around for him, he asked to not see me for the next week. He said that he has to concentrate on football. He said today he would probably stop by Tim’s after practice, but only for a few minutes. Well I called him tonight and he isn’t home at 8:30! Practice ended at 6:00. Oh yeah, he has to concentrate on football…whatever. This is too painful to even write about, so I have to go. Sorry, but I might not write anymore in here for awhile. It’s just too hard.
Commentary: I have a very good memory of this event. Since texting didn’t exist, my only options were to either call the land line phone or show up at his house. I assumed he was staying over at a friend’s house and that’s why I couldn’t get ahold of him, so it definitely sucked to find out that he had been home all weekend and was intentionally ignoring me. I can still remember how shocked I was when I approached his house and saw his car sitting outside. I couldn’t believe he had been home the whole time! I’m sure he wasn’t expecting me to just walk right in his house and into his bedroom. Thank goodness the new girl he was hanging out with wasn’t with him or I would have REALLY freaked out!