02/05/02: Lately everything has been very confusing. First of all, there is my relationship with Jordan. Each day I fall even more in love with him, but sometimes I feel like I don’t want to be in a serious relationship anymore. I love Jordan to death, but we do have our differences. I would love to find someone with the same interests as me, and a person who isn’t so into football and sports. In a few days it will be our one year anniversary. On one hand I’m thrilled about that, but on the other hand I’m just not sure that a serious, long-term relationship is right for me at this point in my life. Jordan is all about marrying me, but sometimes I kind of want to see what else is out there and find out what my options are. He told me that if we break up he will never talk to me again, and that’s not what I want at all. Ahhh, things are so difficult. Anyway, I have been talking to that Travis guy a lot. I really don’t know why I ever liked him. He turned out to be kind of an ass. When I hung out with Brian on Friday night, things went well at first. He was telling me all these stories and really making me laugh. Then instead of going out to a movie, he just wanted to rent one and watch it at his house. That’s where some problems occurred. He went from treating me like a friend to trying to make out with me. It made me uncomfortable, especially since I have a boyfriend. I pushed him off of me and asked to go home. I haven’t really talked to him since that night. I really thought he was an awesome guy, so it’s too bad he had to act like that. Then with Paul, I talked to him one night and he told me that he was really thinking about asking me out again. There have been many times where I have been pissed off at him or whatever, but when it comes down to it, I kinda like the guy. After all, he always stuck up for me and was really nice when I needed someone to talk to. I have agreed to start hanging out with him a little bit and we will see what happens. I know almost for a fact that Paul and I will never get back together…it would be too hard. Anyway, it’s after 11:00 at night and I still have a bunch of homework to do.
Commentary: I was such a procrastinator when it came to doing homework. Most kids would probably just go to bed and skip homework if they hadn’t gotten it done by 11:00pm, but not me. I would stay up super late until everything was done. For some strange reason, I kept all four of my assignment books from high school. Just for fun, I decided to see what homework I had on February 5th, 2002, and it looks like I had to answer questions for History, read/answer questions for English, study for a Spanish quiz, and complete an Algebra assignment. I could’ve made my life a lot easier had I just gotten my homework done right after school instead of waiting until the last possible minute. I like how my goal for the week was “Monday @ noon ~ work on Spanish thingy!” There’s also a weekly quote that’s partially cut off in the photo, but it says “Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple” which seems fitting since I being the entry by saying how confusing everything is. Apparently I wasn’t a genius.