My 20-Year Diary

I will be posting 20 years of my diary entries, ages 8-28, from 1993-2014!

My Christmas Was Pretty Cool This Year! — May 31, 2016

My Christmas Was Pretty Cool This Year!


12/25/01:  It’s Christmas Day!  Right now it’s 12:32 in the morning.  I don’t know why I was freaking out about Jordan.  His mom was gone the whole day, so he couldn’t call me because she had the cell phone.  Anyway, a few hours ago was Christmas Eve.  Today I went (actually yesterday) over to Cara’s house.  Then I came home and watched some TV.  At about 5:15, Jordan came over and we exchanged gifts.  I got him a $20.00 hat from American Eagle along with some incense.  He got me a pretty necklace and an Incubus tape.  It has footage from one of their concerts.  It’s awesome, and I’ve watched it twice already!  Then we sat down and ate Christmas dinner.  It was kinda weird having Jordan there.  Afterwards, I got out some old family videos from 1990.  They were fun to watch.  There was a part in one of the videos where I kissed my brother and gave him a hug.  That actually almost made me cry.  I hate thinking about how things have totally changed.  Back then we were such good pals, and now we don’t get along at all.  Then Jordan ate a slice of pecan pie (ewww) and went home because he was tired.  My family and I gathered around the tree and opened presents.  I didn’t get too many this year, but that’s okay.  I got pretty much everything I asked for.  I’ll tell you some things I got: a lava lamp from my sister, a Nirvana poster from my brother, the movies Dumb and Dumber and The Wedding Singer from my mom, Mario Kart 64, a Deftones visor from my grandma, a Christmas candle from my mom, a cordless phone for my room, a teddy bear, $50.00 from my grandpa, and some gift certificates from my grandparents.  I probably forgot to list some things, but that’s good for now.  So then my grandparents left, and I took all my presents up to my room.  The time is now 12:48 a.m.  Tomorrow I have to wake up early and go to my other grandparents’ house.  Fun, fun!  Well I’m tired, so I’ll write more later!

The next morning: Today is Christmas!!  I went online and got to talk to Sam for about an hour, so that was nice.  At noon, I went over to my grandparents’ house and opened presents there.  We ate a big lunch, and I watched A Christmas Story because it was on TV.  Then I went home, and Jordan came over.  I showed him what I had gotten for Christmas.  We watched The Wedding Singer, and then he went home.  My Christmas was pretty cool this year!  Of course, having Jordan here made it so much better.

Commentary: Christmas back then was awesome. Besides getting a ridiculous amount of presents, we would also have a nice meal, play Christmas carols on the piano, and watch old family videos. We have a ton of family videos, which I’m extremely grateful for, but the more time that goes by, the harder they are to watch. Life is so different now and much more complicated, plus certain loved ones have passed away. Watching those videos in the 90’s – early 2000’s was a fun activity that would make us laugh out loud, but now requires a box of tissues. Today’s photo is one of my childhood cat, Libby, looking quite sinister. I still have my Nirvana poster and Deftones visor (that I have yet to wear). 

Hmmm, I Am Quite Worried — May 20, 2016

Hmmm, I Am Quite Worried


12/16/01:  Today I went to the mall with Jordan.  I tried to do some Christmas shopping, but wasn’t very successful.  Later, I went shopping with Cara.  Since I don’t have a job, it kind of makes it hard to buy presents for people considering the fact that I have no money!  I’ve been thinking lately…even though I love Jordan sooo much, I kind of want someone who I have more in common with.  I really, really want someone who likes the same music as I do.  It might sound silly, but music is just a huge part of who I am.  Tonight when I called Jordan, all he was doing was watching TV and talking about football.  Ugh!  Football is his main hobby, and music is mine.  One day we were driving in his car and I brought my Incubus CD along.  He totally refused to listen to it and said that Incubus sucks.  I got sooo pissed!  I would like him a lot better if he just liked the things that I like, or at least gave them a freakin’ chance.  Even though he has some flaws, I still can’t deny the fact that I love him and really need him.  Last night he came with me to Pizza Works and Paul was there.  I hadn’t seen him in a long time.  I know I should hate him after everything that happened, but for some reason he still has a place in my heart.  Then I couldn’t believe it, but I saw Jodi!!!  I don’t know if I mentioned him before, but he was some guy I made out with last year.  I think it was right before I started going out with Jordan.  After that happened, Jodi called me for the next two days, but I was never home.  When I finally called him back, his mom said that he had moved with his dad somewhere.  I never talked to him or saw him again until last night.  He’s a pretty nice guy.  The night we met, it was cold outside and he took off his sweatshirt to give to me, which was really sweet.  I wanted to talk to him last night to see if he remembered me, but Jordan wanted to leave.  Josh is supposed to come back next week, but you seriously can never count on him because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about most of the time.  Grrr.  I wish things were different!  Anyway, I’m gonna go get online!

12/22/01:  Jordan’s step-dad totally cut off the phone line.  It’s permanent too, so now I can never call him!  He can use the cell phone anytime, but for the past two days I haven’t heard from him.  That’s really strange, because we always call each other at least twice a day.  Today is a Saturday, and we ALWAYS hang out on Saturday nights!  Where the hell is he?  I’ve tried calling his cell phone, but it’s off.  Hmmm, I am quite worried.  I thought he might stop by my house because he usually does that, but I haven’t seen him the past three days and I want to know what’s going on!  Does he have some other girl he is with on the side?  If so, I would be very hurt and wouldn’t want to see him again.  Okay, that’s it.  I’m just going to go over to his house and see if he’s home.

Commentary: It was difficult being in a relationship with someone who went to a different high school, didn’t live in my town, and apparently didn’t have access to a phone.  Cell phones were somewhat new at this point, so instead of having his own cell, his family had a shared one that everyone used.  It’s crazy to think about how Jordan and I had no real way of getting ahold of each other if someone in his family had the cell phone.  We just had to wait around and hope the other person would randomly come over. 

We Went Out and Did Stuff Like Cosmic Bowling — May 3, 2016

We Went Out and Did Stuff Like Cosmic Bowling

cosmic bowling

12/12/01:  I’ve been having really bad cramps today, so that ain’t cool.  Anyways, I kind of didn’t tell Samantha or Shawna about me and Jordan.  I’ve kept the secret for two months!  Today I finally told them.  I was afraid they wouldn’t understand, and I was right about that.  By the secret, I mean that I didn’t tell them that Jordan and I had gotten back together.  They thought I was single this whole time.  Anyway, tonight I talked to Josh online for a little while.  It’s so weird, I feel like I don’t know him at all.  When I really think back and remember, I realize that he was a very important person to me.  Of course I love Jordan more and always have, but there is just something about Josh.  We always had such a great time when we hung out.  We actually went out and did stuff like cosmic bowling.  Jordan and I don’t really go out anywhere because we are both broke.  Next year I won’t get to see Jordan as much because I’ll have to get a job and start working.  I just remembered that I still have to fold all my laundry and it’s 11:00 p.m.  There’s school tomorrow, so I’ll write more later!

12/15/01:  Ahhh!  Jordan came over last night and it was our 10 month anniversary.  It was kind of a bad night though because ugh, I’m not even going to talk about it.  Tonight is a Saturday night and I really wanted to go out, but my parents took the car and Jordan went to a hockey game.  I’m pretty much stuck.  Cara has to cheer at a basketball game.  When my parents come back at 8:00, I think I’ll stop by Pizza Works because I haven’t been there in forever.  Anyway, I’m gonna go clean my room and get online!

Commentary:  Apparently our off and on relationship and the fact that we had broken up for awhile didn’t factor in when it came to our monthly anniversaries. 

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