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11/12/01: This morning at school we had to do STS testing. All the juniors had to take the science and math portion. It wasn’t too hard. The rest of the day was pretty boring. Anyway, I got home from school and talked to Paul online. I won’t explain the whole deal, but people keep lying about the littlest and stupidest things, and it’s really starting to piss me off. Then Ryan, who goes to the same school Jordan, told me that he saw Jordan put his arm around some girl at school. I was kinda mad, so I asked him about it. He claimed that she was the one who put her arm around him, and I was like “whatever.” Ryan said that every time he sees Jordan, he is with that girl. Jordan even admitted that he’s around her a lot. Apparently every chance he gets, he talks and hangs out with her. It upsets me that people at Jordan’s school think he is going out with her. I’m mad that he would even let another girl put her arms around him. I mean seriously, that is just not acceptable. I can’t do that, so he shouldn’t be able to either. Tomorrow I’m going to tell him that he can have her, and I’m going to stop calling his house. His stepdad put a block on the phone, so now Jordan can’t call me at all since it’s long distance. Basically, we won’t be able to talk unless I call him. On Sunday Jordan is going to play basketball with my dad, and this time I’m not going to go. It’s too bad this Wednesday is our nine month anniversary. It’s weird because one minute I love Jordan more than anything, and then next minute I’m pissed off at him. It really messes with my head, and I seriously don’t know what to do. I wish I could just find someone who I’m always happy with…if that’s even possible. As you already know, music is a huge part of my life and I think it’s a huge plus when a guy likes the same music as I do. That’s one bad thing about Jordan – he doesn’t like any of the same music as me. He says that Incubus sucks, but doesn’t even listen to it and give it a chance. Some of their music means a lot to me and is a big part of who I am. There is a ton of music I want to share with Jordan, but he just won’t let me. One of his favorite bands is Rage Against the Machine. Instead of saying that band sucks, I went out and got the CD. I listened to it, gave it a chance, and ended up liking it. If only he could do the same for me, then I would have so much more respect for him. I guess that’s a big part of the reason why I like Sam. He likes a lot of the same bands that I like, which is odd. He was even the person who introduced me to Deftones and Incubus. He was the one who told me to go out and buy their CDs. I am so grateful for that, because their music has definitely helped me out a lot. It has made stress go away, has given me hope, and has added so much happiness to my life, which I really needed. So yeah, I love Sam! Anywho, I have homework to do now.

Commentary: After all these years I still love Incubus and Deftones, although I’m not a fan of Deftones’ newest album.

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