11/06/01: This morning I woke up with a really bad sore throat, headache, cramps, and a runny nose. I really didn’t feel like going to school, but for some strange reason, I did. I was so relieved when the day was over and I got to go home! I laid down for awhile and then talked to Jordan on the phone. I was reading some diary entries I had written awhile ago, and I was very shocked about some of the stuff I had written. I said that I didn’t think Jordan was the one for me, and I was just wasting my time by going out with him. I never knew my feelings could change so drastically, because I know now that Jordan is the one for me. Yeah, sometimes I get pissed off and disappointed with him, but I still love him to death. He is the only guy that I’ve seriously thought about marrying. You may think that’s dumb to say or whatever, but it’s true. Next Wednesday is our nine month anniversary. I seriously couldn’t be happier. Last night I was thinking…Paul and I only dated for two months and after ending things with him, I was sad and missed a lot about our relationship. When I think about how Jordan and I have been together for nine months, there’s no way I would ever be able to deal with breaking up with him! I love Jordan so much more than any other guy, and we have been together for a really long time. Anyway, you get the point. After school today, I talked with Sam. It’s fun because we play against each other in online pool. I was really beating him tonight! He said he will be coming to the U.S. next year and will try his hardest to pay me a visit. Oh, I really hope he does because that would be the coolest thing ever!!! I’ve been talking to his brother a lot lately, and even he wants to meet me! Hopefully it will work out. Oh, and I’ll tell ya something really weird. Ok, today I have been really sick and when I talked to Sam I asked him what was up. He said, “Not much, I skipped school because I didn’t feel well.” I was like, “No freakin’ way!” Last time I was sick was a few months ago, and Sam had a cold also! I just think it’s so weird that there have been three times where Sam and I have been sick at the exact same time. Anywho…remember Josh from TN? Well he is planning on coming back during Christmas break. I really hope he does, because I seriously miss being around him. He made me extremely happy, somehow. Back to Sam – in my head I keep imagining Sam and I finally meeting. I really wanna know if he’s serious about what he says to me, or if he’s just one of those people who kinda plays along. Today he told me that he hates how we never get to hang out and talk in person. I don’t know if that’s how he really feels. Anyway, I’m gonna go think about some stuff, so I’ll write tomorrow.
Commentary: What is going on here? Reading this made my head spin. I begin by talking about how Jordan is the one for me and I can see myself marrying him, and by the end of the entry I’m daydreaming about meeting Sam. I didn’t see a problem with this? I really need to stop using the phrase “I love him to death.”