10/11/01: Hello. Alright, today I found out some news about where James was last night. Apparently he went to Chillicothe somehow and then stayed in some girl’s van the rest of the night. He had 48 hours to go back home, but its been longer than that, so now he’s considered “missing.” Cara is friends with the girl that James stayed with last night. She said that James hid out in the girl’s van the whole morning in the Dunlap High School’s parking lot! I have no idea where he is now, but the cops are definitely after him. I’m scared because maybe he really did steal a car. I mean, why else would he be hiding? This whole thing just doesn’t add up. Why the hell would he steal a car and then just leave it somewhere and not drive it or anything? What was the point of stealing the car then? I don’t know what to think, but everything happens for a reason, right? I guess I’m supposed to learn a lesson from all this – never trust people! Haha, wow! That’s the first time I’ve laughed in a long time. You know what I’m really pissed about? On my way to Hardee’s to meet James, I seriously almost turned around like five times. This whole situation could have been avoided if I just turned around like I wanted to. It ended up taking me 20 minutes to get there, and I didn’t know it was that far away. I saw Hardee’s right when I was ready to turn around, so I figured I would just see him real quick since I was already there. People are saying it’s my fault because I hang out with trashy people. Well, everyone can kiss my ass because this was not my fault. When I went to meet him, I wasn’t planning on picking him up and taking him anywhere, I was just trying to be there for him since he was upset. I don’t want to date him, but he’s cool to be around. I think Paul is gonna come over though, so that will be nice. I gotta run.
Later: I have been bawling my eyes out for the past half hour. My mom came home and I told her what I found out about James. Now I’m in deep shit just because I tried to help a friend out, and my mom is making everything ten times worse. She doesn’t understand anything, and that’s what is so frustrating. Damn, I could have just kept my mouth shut this whole time and said I knew nothing about it, and then none of this would have happened. Once I found out how concerned James’ dad was, I knew the right thing to do was tell him the whole story, even if it meant that I get grounded for two months. I did this all for James’ sake, and it has totally screwed up my life. Anyways, today my dad mowed the lawn, and behind the pool he found a bunch of cushions and some socks. He realized that must have been where James slept the night I dropped him off at his friend’s house. His friend must have not been home or something, so then he decided to stay in my backyard. Of course my dad thinks this is my fault. He said if the police had found James sleeping back there, they would have thought I was the one who hid him. I had no idea he was even back there! So my dad and I got in the biggest fight because he thought (or assumed) I told James that he could stay back there. Ugghhh. I can’t stand my parents, seriously. I’m already under so much stress with color guard because State is the day after tomorrow. I really need someone to confide in, because I can’t take this anymore. I also got yelled at by my mom because I wasn’t supposed to tell Cara what happened, but I did. It actually turned out to be a good thing, because if I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have known where James was last night and that he slept in that girl’s van. I’m so depressed and feel like I would be better off dead. I mean, no one loves me except Jordan. Other than that, everyone hates me right now. Well I gotta go since Paul is coming over.
Commentary: If Jordan was the only person who loved me, then why didn’t I hang out with him instead of other guys all the time? It’s so crazy that while I was at school wondering where James was, he was several feet away in the parking lot, hiding in someone’s van! I’ll never forget the day my dad found those socks behind the pool. I don’t think I was ever able to convince him that I had no idea James had slept back there. I’m still not sure what exactly happened or why he was hiding out. Today’s photo is of the actual Hardee’s that I picked James up at.