10/10/01: Sometimes I really feel like I don’t want to live anymore. Every day is worse than the one before. Like tonight for example – ok, here’s the whole damn story. James has been a friend of mine for the past year and a half. He’s a good kid, but has made some mistakes in the past. Like a year ago when he took his dad’s car without asking and got in a wreck. He was on probation for that. When I look at him, I see a really sweet guy who has been nothing but nice to me since the day I met him. Everyone else looks at him as such a bad kid and a really bad influence. Anyway, last night he got into a huge argument with his dad. He was very upset when he called me, and asked me to meet him at Hardee’s. I did what a friend would do, and met him there. It turns out, he had a bag packed and wanted me to take him to Dunlap. He didn’t want to stay the night with his dad since they were fighting. I took him to his friend’s house, dropped him off, and then went home and went to bed. The next day, I got home from school and James walked over to my house. He skipped school for the day and said that his friend wasn’t home, so he had to sleep outside on a bench. Anyway, we talked and then he left. I wanted to get him out of my house before my dad got home because I’m not supposed to have guys over when my parents aren’t around. Then he walked off and didn’t say where he was going. Later, James’ dad called my house because he couldn’t find James. He said that people think I’m James’ girlfriend, so I might have some information about where he’s at. I told him the whole story and also told my parents. Well, it just so happens that a car was stolen last night in Chillicothe, which is where James lives. Since he was missing, the cops thought James was the one who stole it. Apparently he is still on probation, which I did not know about. Basically, the cops thought I helped in a car theft. That’s why I’m in so much trouble. Also, I didn’t tell my parents that I was going to Hardee’s because I didn’t think it was a big deal. My mom went and told my grandma everything and she totally hates me now. At least that’s what my mom said. I feel like my parents are the reason why I act the way I do. I don’t get to use the computer like EVER again because they think I’ll talk to James or something. Josh just called, and my mom told him to not call back for about two weeks. So yeah, I can’t talk on the phone, go anywhere, or have anyone come over. All I was doing was a nice thing for my friend and I end up getting busted for it. James’ dad even came over to our house to talk with us. I got really upset because my parents were being so rude and telling James’ dad how bad of a kid James is, and I could tell his dad was getting angry. I know James better than my parents, who have never even met him! The other bad thing is that report cards come out next week and I’m doing horrible in just about all my classes. I have B’s and C’s. I really don’t have a chance at getting into a decent college now. Anyway, I’m really upset that I won’t get to see or talk to Jordan for two months. This Sunday is our eight month anniversary, and now we won’t even be able to see or talk to each other. Well I’m gonna go now because I have crap to deal with. I don’t think I can take this anymore…

Commentary: Someone who takes their dad’s car without permission and wrecks it, is on probation, skips school, and possibly stole a car definitely sounds like a really sweet guy to me.  Today’s photo is a random pic of my childhood cat 🙂