08/04/01: Today was pretty much a day to relax for me. I’m dead tired from band camp. Last night, Samantha and I played Truth or Dare and fell asleep kind of early. This morning we woke up, watched TV, and then she went home. My bedroom and bathroom have been such a mess for the past few weeks, so today I did a lot of cleaning. It took almost the whole day to get my room clean – that was how bad it was. Tonight I wanted to go to Pizza Works, but now Jordan wants to go to a movie. Ahh! Even though things have been pretty screwed up between us, I think I will actually just let him come over. I mean, I’m not doing anything anyway. I’m going to call my friend, Matt, and then Jordan will be here any second, so I gotta go!
08/05/01: Cara spent the night tonight. It was pretty fun. We woke up kind of early to go eat breakfast. Then we stopped by Adam’s house, this guy that Cara likes. Tonight we went to Pizza Works for a really short time, and then drove to this park and smoked weed. Everyone did it but me. I’m proud of myself for not trying it. Instead, I babysat Cara. So yeah, that’s basically what I did today. Jordan and I have been fighting lately. It all started when some girls at Pizza Works told Jordan that some guy was all over me. Ok, that wasn’t true AT ALL! Then Jordan got pissed at me and uuuggghhh. The thing that really pisses me off about Jordan is that every time we have a problem in our relationship, he has to go off and tell a bunch of people even though it’s none of their damn business. He’ll tell them in a way that sounds like it’s all my fault, and then they come yell at me about it. It really annoys me. I mean, I never tell any of my friends what happens between us. It’s to the point where every time I get online, someone has to yell at me and say that Jordan deserves a lot better. Blah. Moving on to something else – Josh and Chris come back from Colorado on Friday. I can’t wait to see Josh. I’m going to try and spend the whole day with him on the 10th. He leaves for Tennessee on the 11th. I’ve started to realize how much I really do like him. I can’t believe I’ll have to go a year without seeing him. Today I got to talk to Sam for a little while. He said he doesn’t know what he would do without me because I’m always there to cheer him up. I thought that was really sweet. He also said, “I love you.” Yay!
Commentary: I’m still proud of myself for not smoking weed when everyone else was doing it. I wasn’t one to try and fit in or do what was considered “cool.” I already didn’t fit in at my high school, so I didn’t really care what people thought of me. Most of my friends, along with my boyfriend, attended a different high school. Today’s photo is of myself and Josh – judging by what he’s wearing, I’m surprised my parents let him into our house.