08/13/01: Ahhh! A lot of stuff has happened since the last time I wrote. I don’t even know where to start…Josh left for Tennessee on Saturday. On Friday, I spent just about the whole day with him. I went over there at noon and didn’t come back home until midnight. It was really cool because usually Josh and I never get any time alone because Samantha and Chris are always around, but today they had to go somewhere, so Josh and I just watched TV by ourselves. I realized that I really do care about him. I love him to death!! I was getting ready to leave to go back home and really didn’t wanna have to say bye. So we both just kinda said, “See ya later,” like we always do and didn’t act like he was really leaving for a year. He had a card for me and told me to read it when I got home. So I did, and cried because it was the sweetest thing ever! It was really sad that I had to find out how he felt about me on the last day he was here. Oh well. Then on Sunday I had to perform at the State Fair in Springfield with the color guard and band. It was fun, but really freakin’ hot!! Then on Sunday night I hung out at Pizza Works. There is a guy named Paul that I like who always goes there. Oh, and on Saturday night he drove all the way from Washington (where he lives) to Dunlap which is like a 40 minute drive! He did that just to pick me up. We went to Pizza Works and played pool, so it was kind of like a date. My mom and sister met him and think he is awesome. They really think highly of him. He is 18 and is going to go to ISU. He is really smart, too. Anyway, last night I was talking to this girl who is a really good friend of Paul’s, and she said that he always talks about me and says I’m the kind of girl he wants to date. I couldn’t believe that. When he walked me out to Samantha’s car, he gave me a kiss and hug and said he would call me tomorrow. I was like, shoot, what if Jordan found out that another guy has kissed me? I mean, four different guys have kissed me while I’ve been going out with Jordan. I don’t know what I’m gonna do at this point in time. I guess we’ll just see what happens.
P.S. – On Sunday Josh called twice long distance from Tennessee, but both times I wasn’t home!! I really wanted to talk to him damn it!

Commentary: Poor Jordan. He was such an amazing boyfriend, but I definitely didn’t treat him very well. When he first asked me out, he was literally the only guy who had ever shown interest in me. Over the course of our relationship, several other guys started showing interest as well, so that’s when things got complicated. Now there’s another guy added to the mix – Paul! You’ll hear about him quite a bit. Today’s photo is from the card that I received from Josh. I almost didn’t post it because I thought it might be too personal, but I figured it would be interesting for you guys to see things from another person’s perspective. I changed his name for privacy reasons, so that’s why it’s not shown on the card. I remember being totally shocked when I first read it because I had no idea he felt that way. His handwriting always confused me – it would start out big and looked like a girl had written it, and then it would totally change into small, guy-ish handwriting. Judging by my “Oh well” comment and the fact that I immediately started talking about a different guy, I didn’t seem to be too crushed about Josh leaving.