dear diary

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12/29/00: Woah! I was pretty upset when I wrote that last entry. Sorry about that. Anyways, I just read through my old diary. I’m definitely more mature now than when I wrote in that. I had no idea I talked about Sam so much back then. I’m glad I wrote about him though, because I definitely don’t want to forget him. Oh, and I was just thinking about something…I remember going to the dentist and then coming home and wanting to talk to Sam. Well today I’m scheduled to go to the dentist, so that means I’ve known Sam for six months! I can’t believe it. That’s a pretty long time to stay friends with someone you have never met. As I was reading that old diary, I found out that I really was head over heels for him. I’m not quite like that anymore. I don’t think about him all the time like I used to. Oh, I actually talked to Sam recently and he asked how my Christmas was. Then we talked about our plans for New Year’s Eve. He asked about James and what was up with him. So I started telling him, and he didn’t say anything and just got offline. What’s up with that? He always does that, but he was the one who asked! Uggghhh. He has done that same thing so many times. He will ask about a guy and I’ll start telling him, then he won’t say anything and leave. Hmmmm. Anyway, I’m grounded for the whole day! I’m not even going to explain what I did, it’s stupid. I just went to a movie and didn’t call my mom to get permission. BITE ME. Well I’m going to go take a shower, so I’ll talk to ya L8R.

Commentary: Instead of playing games and trying to make Sam jealous, I wonder what would’ve happened if I had just been honest. How would he have reacted if I told him that I wasn’t at all interested in James and was actually falling for him?! Would he be scared off, or was it secretly what he had been wanting to hear?